Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
