like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
