hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
