My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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