If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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