fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
