it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
