I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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