It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
