what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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