you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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