please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
