What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
