so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
