I'm sorry my penis didn't work
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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