the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
