i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
