We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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