Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
