They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
