Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
