i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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