so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
