So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
