I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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