my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
