So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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