i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
