now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
