Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
