I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
