take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
