i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
