Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
