weddingsv make me drug and hornr
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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