Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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