Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
