Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
