guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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