Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
