Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
