By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
