it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
