Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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