Where did you get a picture of my penis
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
