Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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