I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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