38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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