so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
