The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
