Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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