We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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