I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
