Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
