i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
either way he was missing a nipple.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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