I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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