i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
